10. I haven't read a book or seen a new movie in months.
9. Most music sounds like noise, and I don't have a single MP3 on my PC.
8. I dislike memes, especially the kind that go "What Color of Vomit Are You?"
7. My love life is considerably less exciting than the Pope's.
6. I never have conflicts or showdowns with my boss or colleagues.
5. I consider gossip either pointless or malicious, so nobody shares any with me.
4. Linking to weird news headlines doesn't seem so cool anymore.
3. I'm unable to come up with any satisfactorily mystifying one-liners.
2. I can't write poetry — good, bad or indifferent — to save my life.
1. It's easier to leave a smartass comment than to make a journal entry.