That's an extract from the much-lauded The Impressionist by Hari Kunzru. For his efforts, Kunzru was recently shortlisted for the Literary Review Bad Sex in Fiction Prize, awarded annually to a serious novel featuring the most "inept, embarrassing and unnecessary" sex scenes.
Okay, so that's nothing compared to the following desi fantasy that was posted on some eminently forgettable site:
"She was necked. This was the first time I was seeing a lady necked. She asked me did I have an experience I said I just some XXX movies. She started rubbing my deck and started open my paint and said remove my cloth's. I unchecked her blows and started rubbing her boom's."
I wonder if it was Microsoft SpellCheck™ or a helpful copy editor that was responsible for the final, well, output.
It looks as if there's a huge market for bad sex out there. Why waste my time editing business copy when I can try to make it to the shortlist for LRBSFP 2003?
On! On! On!